The topic of letting go can be a sensitive one that has popped up in my posts from time to time. It's like my Achilles Heel. Everyone has a story about why it’s beneficial to hang on to something (or someone) from the past. Do you see yourself in any of the following scenarios?
Signs that you may need to “Let Go”
1. You’re getting dressed to go work at Company ABC and you’re silently praying that today (Day Number 1483) is the one that will have you finally coming home smiling…..
2. For over a year your closet has held articles of clothes that are two sizes too small because you’re adamant that one day they’ll fit like they used to….
3. You occasionally (hmmm… regularly?) creep the Facebook page of the “one that got away” while playing the mental game called, “If Things Were Different”…
Listen to me.
I think that I speak for the majority when I confess that I’ve held on to things that no longer serve the person that I am becoming. Why let them go? These “things” represent a big part of who you are and what/ who you love, right?
These “things” represent a big part of who you were and what/ who you loved…. once upon a time.
Your soul may feel as parched as the Sahara Desert. It’s crying for nourishment and, sadly, you are withholding the water that it desperately needs.
It’s time to let go.
Letting go requires investing time in yourself that you may not be quick to offer up in this day and age of instant gratification. It’s probably feels easier (and seemingly safer) to stick with the feelings, people and situations that you’ve known forever because they’ve always been within arm’s reach. Adversely, when we are bold enough to try and step out of our comfort zone, familiarity pulls us back in. You can almost hear it saying, “Hey, where do you think you’re going….?”
I made a resolution list back on December 31, 2011. One of my items on that list was to “Let Go” and it seems like now is as good a time as any to make a move on this. I decided to tackle this challenge by breaking everything down into actionable steps.
Learn to love yourself: There maybe someone in your life that “did you wrong” and broke your heart in the process. They didn’t love you the way that you needed to be loved and you’re still pissed about it. Let me ask you this, “Did you love yourself the way that you needed to be loved?” I’m still grappling with this one myself. When is the last time that you:
Bought yourself flowers "just because" or,
Looked at yourself naked in the mirror with a smirk of appreciation or,
Danced a sexy number by yourself… does if really take two to tango??
How can we criticize others for withholding what we withhold from ourselves? (Trust me, this is a big pill to swallow and I think it’s still stuck in my throat!) I’m learning that asking someone for unconditional love before you’ve given some to yourself is unfair, imbalanced and it will only ensure a glass half empty kind of love.
Embrace the madness brought about by change: If you’re tired of repeating the same unhealthy patterns (whatever they may be) then get prepared for epic changes. Sure, they may have to start off small but in the end you’ll have to make significant revisions to arrive at your new destination. Be warned, though… things are about to get messy! Your decision to get healthier will require new foods and new habits; your desire to meet your ideal match will require putting yourself out there and meeting new people; your hopes of becoming your own boss will require some late hours and skills development. Are you feeling a bit of resistance? Let me ask you this…
“Doing things the old way got you here. Are you fulfilled?”
If you’re not, then what do you have to lose?
Take a moment to look at a situation through new lenses: A fresh perspective can often help you to identify things you may have taken way too personally and in turn, you may be able to let go with much more ease. Someone that speaks their own mind, makes unconventional choices or takes a different path in life isn’t necessarily trying to hurt you (and if they are, you need to cut that cat loose!). Here’s the bottom line:
· Business is business and there of often casualties in the pursuit of overall company success.
· Freedom of expression is just that. How we respond to said freedom is up to us.
· You have to respect someone else’s decision to “zig” instead of “zag” on their path in life. It’s not your journey.
Give in: Please note the fact that I wrote give in not give up. Surrender doesn’t mean that you have to become submissive in order to move forward. Just try not to fight the process. There may be a few tears, some feelings of irritation, moments of confusion and periodic disillusionment. On the flip side, you may just decide to free fall into the future’s unknown abyss with complete abandon. Just take your hands off of the wheel every now and then in an effort to let things flow as they should. All things that should be, will be. There’s some truth to giving a little in order get a little.
Observe: Check out how you feel and how things evolve once you start to let go. I still have my days, but throughout this process I’ve been feeling a bit lighter and my level of personal understanding has increased steadily. Letting go has helped me become more accountable and it has served to open my heart because of (not in lieu of) every experience I’ve had.
It’ll take some work but I’m looking forward to checking this goal off of my list.
Until next time, friends…..