It seems like interpersonal dysfunction is running rampant these days. Relationship success stories are seemingly as mythical as unicorns and dragons. I recently met with an old friend who is married to a man that many women would coin as the “perfect” husband. From their whirlwind courtship to their beautiful wedding to their cute kids (one boy and one girl) and a home in the suburbs – they have lived a life that many would envy.
It turns out that my perception couldn’t have been farther from the truth. She hasn’t been happy for a couple of years. Their relationship has been slowly eroding and the smiles that I’ve seen in so many of their recent pictures have just been masks that they put on for what she coins as “the show”. Relationships can be tough and I say this as a woman who has been working hard to sustain her own. Throughout my efforts, this is what I’ve realized:
Our inability to connect is due to our inability to relate.
We’re living in times where people are often looking for a quick fix. Instant gratification is available to us by means of popping a pill or simply pushing a button. Work is often getting done without having to break a sweat and people are quickly forgetting the importance of making a sincere effort. What that means for our relationships can be grim if attention is not immediately paid trying to see things from a different perspective. We have to try to relate to one another again.
Change is certainly inevitable but it’s how we respond to the change that ultimately sets the tone (not to mention the path) of our closest bonds. Take time out to try and relate to your partner. There is no guarantee that doing this will make everything right, but it might help you to understand where they are coming from. Ultimately everyone just wants to be heard.
I'm going to work at this a little bit more. How about you?
Until next time friends.....