If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your
~ Woody Allen
In the past few years one
of my biggest life lessons has been learning how to release my death grip on
executing out plans,
sticking to plans….
All of it.
When I got married my plan
was to live happily ever after because there was no room in my plan for
anything other than perfection and success. When I was expecting my son, Tyson,
I actually wrote out a birth plan. It was meticulous and thorough and
absolutely useless to me in the end. Why? Well, three days of contractions and
a Caesarean section later I didn't care what the paper said. The plan went out
the window because I realized that in some situations, the outcome to many of
life's predicaments aren’t up to us.
Throughout my life planning
has been directly correlated to expectation. All that can be measured and
bullet-pointed can be achieved, right? But what do you do when your baby
decides he doesn't want to sleep at all? Or that instead of growing together,
you and your spouse are growing apart? What do you do when who you thought you
wanted to become is no longer recognizable to you?
For a long time I thought
that the best thing to do was cry a lot, vent to anyone that would listen, sing
a few verses of "woe-is-me" and wait for the universe to send a big
sign of guidance. While these coping mechanisms may work for some, I can't
honestly say that they have brought me any joy, peace or results.
So instead I have decided
to put plans aside for the time being and instead take action. Who knows the great
opportunities I may have missed when I was too busy making bullet point
"to do's". I look forward to the challenge of becoming more present
and responsive to this thing called life.